As most of you know i suffer from severe anxiety to the point it has stopped me from doing things. As i am sitting here today looking back on my day i feel like i have made a significant amount of progress in just one day!
First i went to the doctors office – So some of you are like yeah so? but for me that is a huge milestone! One of a huge triggers in my anxiety is attending appointments! I have a very nice doctor and once i am there i am find, but getting into that office is very hard. So today i overcame that and went to the doctors to talk about my anxiety! I have been given a few tools i’m hoping will help me out a bit.
Second i got some financial burdens figured out – I am currently unemployed but slowly building up a working from home business. I was able to pay off some debts and even get into the bank to get them all sorted out. Yet again going to the bank may be easy for you but for me it is a large fear that i was able to overcome.
I feel like opening up about my anxiety is making things so much easier. People just think i don’t want to work and i want to stay home and live on welfare for the rest of my life, but are you kidding me!!!! There is nothing more that i would rather do then go to work and pay off my debts, move out of my mothers house and into a place i can call my own, give my daughter everything and anything she can possibly imagine.
So like i said yes those small tasks may seem stupid, but i got help! That is the most important thing i want everyone to take out of this post. I seeked help and finally felt like someone was on my side. I put a plan into place and i’m going to continue to work towards my goals both long term and short!
I will beat this anxiety and i will overcome everything i need to in order to give my daughter and i the best life i possibly can!
Well this weekend has been a SUPER busy weekend! It is thanksgiving here in Canada So happy thanksgiving everyone! We also had a huge fair on this weekend in town and decided to go to that 2 of the days. And on top of that i decided to attempt to make my very first turkey dinner!
So brooks first fair was a huge success! She had so much fun and i’m so happy she got to go. She was a champ on all of the rides and just kept wanting to go on more and more! I am so fortunate to be able to do this for her and i look forward to carrying on more traditions just like i did as a child! When i was younger we used to go to the fair every thanksgiving weekend and then we’d have a turkey dinner at my grandmas on the monday!
This thanksgiving i decided to cook a turkey myself! Since my grandmother passed away we have yet to ever have a thanksgiving dinner. So lets just say the turkey was definetely and experience! The worst part was preparing the turkey. Lets just say it turned my stomach… And i honestly debated continuing but i knew i had to do this or we weren’t going to have a thanksgiving dinner! So i ended up making turkey, potatos, stuffing, corn, cranberries and a fresh pumpkin pie! I wish i had taken pictures of it because i was so proud that i did this for my family.
Heres a few pictures from the fair! This weekend was full of “baby daddy drama” which i won’t be getting into in this post, but spending it with the ones you love is truly the best feeling ever!
So lately i have been looking around my house and thinking wow we have accumulated so much stuff it’s time to declutter! So i’m thinking of starting a little series about decluttering? Once a week i will pick a small area and completely organize it! i’m talking top to bottom spotless! I think this will be helpful with me starting my own business and getting more organized!
So these are some areas i’m going to start with:
Each wall/section of my bedroom
Each section/ wall of my daughter room
And who knows what else!!
This is going to be a long series but i think the fact that i am openly telling everyone that i’m going to do this will give me the motivation i need to get it done! So stay tuned. I was also thinking of filming some youtube videos about this but i am unsure on how far i will get with that! it’s been a while since i filmed a youtube video and am not sure if i’m ready to get back into that yet!
So let me know what you guys think and feel free to join in with me! Also stay tuned for some mommy posts! I would like to do a nighttime routine, morning routine, toddler meals, potty training post! Lots more to come
Man i just love blogging! i’m so happy i started this!
Hey everyone. I have typed this post up about 4 different times as it is a very difficult subject for me to admit and talk about. But i feel as a young mother trying to reach other moms out there that this is something i need to write about. It is a huge part of my life and i really hope i can help someone by sharing my experience.
So to start out i suffer from severe anxiety disorder. Pretty much everything makes me anxious, whether it be going to the park, visiting a family member or even getting groceries. It doesn’t matter what the activity is i always have some type of fear. This started when i was younger around the time my grandma passed, my parents divorced and i had to switch schools, around grade 7. Over the years it has come and go and now about 8 years later i find myself in the worst state i’ve ever been in my entire life. Its never been this bad. I recently dropped out of college because i couldn’t physically get myself into a classroom. I tried, i don’t know how else to explain it other then whenever i tried to go to class i would feel sick. So sick that id have to run to the bathroom. And i would continuously feel this way until i removed myself from the situation. I can’t work, i can’t hangout with friends, i can’t even go to a restaurant without some case of anxiety.
I tried going to see a social worker and i could barely get myself to the appointments. I felt the same symptoms and just stopped going. I am trying out workbooks and i will be sure to let you know how they go.
The thing that bothers me the most is I don’t know why i feel this way. My worker keeps telling me to find the “why’s” but i have yet to find them. I feel like my daughter is my security blanket. She eases some of the anxiety.I am trying so hard to get through this but i’m finding myself so deep in the problem and i only seem to be getting deeper.
I am still working on a solution to my problem but the moral of this post is that if your suffering, your not alone! Your never alone and it’s so important to get help! I will always be here to talk and i encourage you to speak. I am sorry this post is all over the place. Even though it is hard to talk about it needs to be out there. I have written this about 4 times now and i’ve been working on it for a solid week. It’s hard, it’s very hard to admit you need help but once you do it can only go uphill from there!